Fear, Self-Awareness, and Growth: A Personal Journey

Fear can stop us in our tracks or push us to grow. This week, I let fear take the reins, and it taught me valuable lessons I want to share with you. Normally, I wake up with my mind running 1,000 miles an hour — excited, motivated, and ready to tackle my to-do list. The challenge isn’t deciding what to do, but where to start.

When Fear Takes Over

This week was different. I found myself stuck — lost in confusion and weighed down by fear. I started to doubt everything: my progress, my decisions, and whether I could keep building this business.

I blamed it on not knowing how to get my business to grow from here. Honestly, I feel like I may be wearing my few loyal followers — a.k.a. friends and family — out. I’m unsure of the next steps to increase my business’ exposure and attract potential clients.

The Chaos of Life

Then there is the busyness of the past week and a half: the STEAM Fair that my daughter signed up for at the last minute, doctors’ appointments, flag football season starting, finances, sick kids, and my full-time job. I feel like I’m running non-stop from sunup to sundown. Yet, I haven’t completed my outline and materials for my first workshop that is scheduled in just a few days. I should be promoting and posting on social media like a madwoman. But instead, I disappeared. Why?

Was it just the hand life dealt me this week? The never-ending commitments of a working mother with four kids and two demanding jobs? Sounds reasonable, right? It’s easy to chalk it up to the hand I was dealt this week. But here’s the thing; it’s not the whole truth.

Understanding Fear Responses

The painful truth is I’m scared. Fear causes us to respond in one of four ways:

• Fight: Taking proactive action, even aggressively, to overcome a challenge.
• Flight: Avoiding or escaping the situation entirely.
• Face: Confronting your fear head-on with courage and determination.
• Freeze: Feeling paralyzed and unable to act, often overwhelmed by the fear itself.

Have you ever noticed how you tend to respond to fear?

This week, I froze. Maybe you’ve been there too — paralyzed by fear and using busyness as a shield. Busyness was a ready excuse waiting for me. I even added some self-sabotage as a cherry on top in the form of avoidable financial stress and overcommitting at my full-time job. I worked late almost every evening. This led to a mad dash every night to get dinner, homework, and the nightly routine done before bedtime.

Take Action and Break the Fear Cycle

So what now? It’s tempting to throw in the towel and tell myself it just wasn’t in the cards this month. I could say next month will be different — that I’ll have more time to prepare, post, and make everything a success. Let’s be honest, when next month rolls around there will be nothing stopping me from coming up with a new list of excuses. And if that pattern continues, I’ll find myself stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage. But it won’t be my fault participation was low, right?

This is where self-reflection comes in. We have to keep asking ourselves the “why” behind what we are thinking, feeling, and doing. Why am I holding back? Why do I feel this way? 

When you answer the first "why", ask “why” again and again. You’ll often find that the real reason goes far deeper than the surface issues like busyness or lack of time. In this case, it’s fear. I’m not only scared of failing but also of succeeding. Both lead to change, and honestly, I’m not sure which one feels more scary. Maybe you’ve felt that way too.

Here’s the thing: however fear manifests for you, it doesn’t have to define you. When it raises its head, you can choose to push through it, one step at a time.

Why Self-Awareness is Your Superpower

Self-awareness is key. Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and how you are responding. Armed with this information, you can use some key strategies to help navigate through the fear:

• Acknowledge the Fear - Recognize it for what it is — fear. Name it. Say it out loud or write it down. When you acknowledge your fear, you strip it of some of its power over you.
• Face Your Fear - Take small, manageable steps toward what you’re afraid of. Action breaks the cycle of paralysis.
• Reframe Your Perspective - Ask yourself, “What if it all works out?” This simple question, inspired by Mel Robbins, can shift your mindset from dread to possibility.
• Breathe - Practice deep breathing exercises. Slowing your breath calms your nervous system and clears your mind, making fear more manageable.
• Visualization - Imagine yourself succeeding in as much detail as possible. Close your eyes and use all your senses: What does it look like, feel like, or even smell like? For example, I close my eyes and visualize a workshop where participants are smiling, engaged, and inspired by meaningful exercises. Visualization helps replace fear with motivation and builds the confidence to take the next step forward.
• Step Away - Sometimes, a short break can help reset your perspective. Take a walk, do something creative, or simply rest. Stepping away can provide clarity and reduce overwhelm.
• Ask for Support - You don’t have to do it all alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. Sharing your fears can lighten the emotional load and offer fresh insights.

You’re Not Alone in Fear

Fear is a normal and universal emotion. You don’t need to hide it. The important thing is to face it head-on. If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me,” know that you’re not alone. We all face fear — it’s how we choose to respond that defines our journey. When I meet my audience next week, they will expect that I’m nervous and will give me grace because they have been in similar situations. By admitting I’m scared, I will be more relatable and human. Be patient with yourself. There is no magic wand to make it disappear. It will take time to overcome your fear.

I didn’t handle it the best this week, and as a result, I won’t have as big of an audience as I was hoping for. But I will give it 110% anyway. I will keep pushing, and next month will be bigger and better.

Celebrate Your Wins

Celebrate your wins. Maybe you took a deep breath before a tough conversation or finished a task you’ve been avoiding. Wins come in all sizes — big and small. I showed up today, and I am posting my blog days late, but I did it. I will post throughout the weekend about my workshop. It may be too late to make an impact on attendance, but it will help me push through and set me up for success next month.

What’s one small win you can celebrate today? Write it down and acknowledge your progress. Fear is part of every journey, but it doesn’t have to hold us back. Together, we can turn it into a force for growth. Let’s keep taking small, brave steps forward — one at a time.