Girl Dust Your Piano, or Don’t. Either Way, You’re Doing Just Fine.

When you look at this picture of my very dusty piano, what comes to mind?

Are you horrified that I would share it? Relieved because it shows you’re not the only one struggling to keep up with household chores? Do you think better or worse of me — maybe you're thinking, “I thought she had it all together, and would you look at that.”

For me, the picture brings up shame. It feels like proof that I am not enough — that I’m failing at juggling the demands of being a professional, entrepreneur, wife, and mother. But here’s the thing: it’s just a dusty piano. It is morally neutral. On its own, it says nothing about me as a person or even about my housekeeping skills.

Let me explain.

The dusty piano could mean any number of things:

• I chose to focus on what matters most to me this week.
• I have old windows that let in dust faster than I can clean it.
• I spent my time caring for my daughter before her surgery.
• I made memories with my family instead of worrying about chores.
• I’ve been exhausted, and cleaning just wasn’t the priority.
• I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.
• I got caught up in work, projects, and life, and this slipped through the cracks.

And honestly? It could mean nothing at all.

The list could go on and on — some reasons might feel “good,” some might feel “bad,” but the truth is, it’s just a dusty piano. The meaning we attach to it is completely up to us.

So let me reiterate — this dusty piano is morally neutral. I’m the one assigning a negative meaning to it, feeding the inner dialogue that tells me I’m not enough.

But what if I spoke to myself like a friend?

What if I reframed it and said:

"Rebecca, you had a lot on your plate this week. The house not being clean is a sign that you focused on what mattered most — your family."

Why Do We Default to Shame?

Why do we so easily assign negative value to something simply because it doesn’t meet an arbitrary standard we’ve set in our minds?

For you, it might not be a dusty piano. But I bet you have your own version — a mental list of chores or care tasks that you feel guilty about not doing. Maybe it’s:

• A pile of laundry that never seems to shrink.
• Dirty dishes stacked in the sink.
• Skipping a shower because you’re just too exhausted.

We often underestimate how much executive functioning it takes to do something as simple as taking a shower or starting a load of laundry.

But here’s what I want you to remember: You deserve clean laundry. You deserve self-care. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it all at once.

Small Steps Count

Instead of tackling everything at once, break it down:

• Wash one load.
• Wash just one outfit if that’s all you can manage.
• Fold only what feels doable.

And guess what? It’s never really “done” anyway. Most chores and care tasks are part of an endless cycle. So choose a pace that works for you — because there will always be more dirty clothes.

And as long as you have clean underwear to put on, you’re doing okay.

Simplify Without Shame

If a particular chore or self-care task feels overwhelming, think about how you can simplify it — without judgment. What advice would you give a friend in your situation?

For me, one of my biggest struggles has been laundry. My husband and kids take care of their own clothes, but I still find it overwhelming. So I made it easier on myself:

• I mostly wear dark-colored shirts and underwear so I can throw everything in together.
• I don’t fold much — my socks, underwear, and undershirts go in bins.
• My workout clothes and pajamas get rolled and tossed into drawers.
• Everything else gets hung up.

It might not be the “right” way to do laundry, but it works for me. And the less time I spend worrying about laundry, the more energy I have for things that matter to me.

Do What Works for You

I’m a professional and a mother of four. If wearing the same basic outfit every day saves me time and reduces stress, so be it. It’s clean, I’m dressed, and that’s an accomplishment.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by housework, self-care, or just life in general, give yourself permission to do things in a way that makes sense for you.

That might mean:

• Hiring help if you have the means — a cleaning service, meal delivery, or even a laundry service can be a game-changer.
• Googling new systems to find one that fits your energy, lifestyle, and capacity — whether that’s a “one chore a day” method, the FlyLady system, or something as simple as a checklist.
• Setting a timer for 15 minutes and doing what you can — because even small progress is progress.
• Asking for help from your family and letting go of the idea that you have to do it all alone.
• Letting go of guilt if today just isn’t the day — and knowing that’s okay.

There’s no one “right” way to keep up with life. There’s just the way that works for you.

Let’s Reframe the Narrative

So often, we carry unspoken expectations about what it means to be “good” at keeping up with life. But where did those ideas come from?

• Were they modeled for you as a child?
• Were they shaped by societal messages that equate productivity with worth?
• Have you ever stopped to ask if these expectations even make sense for your life right now?

Most of the time, no one notices the effort that goes into maintaining a home or taking care of yourself — until those things aren’t getting done. But that doesn’t mean you should measure your worth by a list of tasks.

Your Next Step: Reframe the Guilt

I want to challenge you this week:

What’s one task you’ve been beating yourself up over that you can reframe today?

And remember — dust your piano if you want to. Or don’t. Either way, you’re doing just fine. 💙

📖 Want to dive deeper into reframing care tasks and letting go of shame? I highly recommend KC Davis’ book, How to Keep House While Drowning — it’s a compassionate, practical guide to making life feel more manageable.